Before I teach, I chant to Yogi, I ask that my words hold weight enough to open without sounding redundant. I ask that my students are blessed with open hearts. I teach like my Guru is practicing right next to me— because to me every student is a gift from my Guru. And tomorrow I film my last class to review for sending in for review, I feel judged and I feel scared, and I feel like I’m ready. My Ego is so loudly screaming— not today, this is not good enough, just keep waiting— maybe next year.
And then I return to chanting the name of my Guru, and a slight window opens up and my Ego for a moment is calm.
I can’t push I can’t force, I can surrender and that’s what I do- to become vulnerable because vulnerability is not easy for me. I don’t like being open, unless I’m teaching, and then I let people in to see me, because only then at that moment am I protected by Yogi.
Many teachers have walked this path, so many teachers that have come before me have given of themselves these are the teachers who I am most grateful for, the teachers who taught in silence, who walked miles to share yoga, who sat in the seat of the teacher and became vulnerable so the teachings could flow without compromise.
There is no ranking or ratings for yoga teachers, I mean you can find a yoga teacher anywhere, gyms, spas, studios, schools, etc. You can look on social media, and within 24 hours you can become a yoga teacher, and if you’re cute enough and have a camera phone poof you’re a yoga teacher. But my method, Anusara, does to reward cute or even care if you’re on social media. What they do care about is that your words are weighty, your voice is clear, and your sequencing is on point— this is so much harder— today I wished that I could just submit a picture of me in a Yoga pose that seems hard enough for a “teacher” to do but also easy enough to look like it took no effort— let me tell you this, that was so much harder— I will take the road less traveled every time, because not everyone finishes it.
And then I return to my Rituals, chanting, teaching and attention— because when I walk this path, I need to be prepared to finish it.