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Responsiblity

noun, plural responsibilities. 1. the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management. 2. an instance of being responsible : The responsibility for this mess is yours! 3. a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible : the responsibilities of authority. 4. a person or thing for which one is responsible : A child is a responsibility to its parents. 5. reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments. Idioms 6. on one’s own responsibility, on one’s own initiative or authority: He changed the order on his own responsibility.

In regards to AIM I explain responsibility similar to what is called the “airplane theory”— in the event of an emergency put the oxygen mask on yourself first then assist others.  I suppose that sounds selfish, and yet this makes sense to me because if I’m constantly being responsible for how people think or act or perceive me through their own lens of manufacturing then I’ll be doormat and truly have nothing to give because I’ll be empty and really void of clarity of what my AIM is.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life being responsible for everything and everyone around me, if we had a group project at work, I was either the lead or go to person— I would get things done— I would be responsible; and through that process I learned that I robbed people of showing what they were truly capable of because of my control- my desire to be perfect- my desire to never fail.   Group activities were never my thing,  one of my survival instincts that were manufactured during my formative years was— if I did things better and for people I would be seen as a good worker, or a competent worker, or someone you couldn’t live without— I wanted to belong and doing was my way of shutting out competition, healthy or not, and for lack of a better word— winning—.  It has taken years of self observation which I did for years from a judgemental perspective and years (which I’m still learning) from a non judgemental perspective.

Today I am responsible to myself and my AIM, so that I can be a benefit to those I love and those who are in my circle of friends and people I admire.  I was never my full self when I was trying to do all and be all, I was reactive and constantly on guard— I am now responsive— probably a little on guard— but definatley not ready to take over.  What this realization of responsiblity has helped me understand is that no one is special, but we are all essential to the puzzle we call life and to those who we hold dear.

So remember, be responsible to yourself first and then be responsible to others, you never know when you are in the midst of a water landing………

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